Wilson's Creek National Battlefield

“It was not well to drive men into final corners; at those moments they could all develop teeth and claws.”
― Stephen Crane  

November 28th I visited Wilson Creek Battlefield

Wilson Creek was fought on August 10, 1861, it  was a pivotal battle in Missouri and the second major battle of the Civil War. When the smoke cleared, more than 2,500 Union and Confederate soldiers were killed, wounded or missing in five hours of intense fighting.    It is the site of the death of Nathaniel Lyon, the first Union general killed in action.  Wilson Creek NB commemorates and interprets the battle within the context of the war in the Trans-Mississippi West.  A five-mile self-guided tour road allows visitors to explore the battlefield at their own pace. Walking trails lead to various battle sites, including Bloody Hill, the Historic John Ray House, and the Edwards Cabin.

Everything Will Be Alright

 Her name was hope her hair was blacker than the sky

She had a smile that made the devil cry

She held is hands, looked him in the eye

She said "believe, believe and everything will be fine."

Everything will be all right

Today's the day, you can bet on that

I heard her close the door, she ain't looking back

A twist of fate or a stroke of luck

Well, the answer's over there beyond the wishing well

Everything will be all right

Take the fire in your hands

And place it at her feet

Walk upon the mountain

Then you'll sail across the sea

Her eyes are taken from the stars above,

Her voice is five hearts breaking

Her voice is five hearts breaking

Her voice is five hearts breaking

The skies are fire and he's waiting to die

And his heart's as empty as a dead man's eyes

She held his hands, looked him in the eye

She said "believe, believe and everything will be fine."

Everything will be all right

Everything will be all right

Everything will be all right 

“Five Hearts Breaking” from the Alejandro Escovedo lp “Gravity”    1992

Berne Brown

A quote taken from the end of the video. 

“To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen ... to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough" ... then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

Transcript and video found here:

Bisti Badlands Part Two

 When you're in the desert, you look into infinity.... It makes you feel terribly small, 

and also in a strange way, quite big.  David Lean

Click on the photo to cycle to the next...

Musing

When you age you start buying more Sympathy cards than Birthday cards.  The past 5 years I have said goodbye more than I have said hello. Most to the natural order of life, old age.  Some were to young.  I am secure in my my faith in knowing that I will be saying hello to my family again. There are certain days, certain holidays that are a little rough.  

I am going to spend Thanksgiving with my sister’s family.

I remain vigilant in staying COVID-19 free.   

Yes, like many I have been seeing a therapist for grief and loss.  For a year and a half and it has been amazing.  I highly recommend it but do your research.  I am just so fortunate that her focus has not been on telling me what to do but to give me tools.

To quote one of my favorite artist/singers, It’s not that I’m so messed up, only a professional can help me...  It’s that I’m worthy of an unbiased, safe, and productive opportunity to process my experience."  Summer Osborne

Random Photos from Old - Old Dog Learning Tricks

 

See Rock City

Four years ago I was taking half of my mom’s ashes to Rock City, Lookout Mountain Georgia. 

I hiked up Lookout Mountain and found the place where you can see all 7 states. She was scattered there. 

 She loved the song, See Rock City. She played it constantly, from the first time she heard it in the 90’s to the day she transitioned, December 2015. It was the song she played when we pulled out of the driveway in 2006 to begin our life on the road. I understood why she related to the song and why it resonated with her. 

 She was trapped for 50 years, the last 20 she couldn’t leave the county. My father was wheelchair, housebound. Between the two of us we cared for him. He wasn’t an easy person to live with. 

 Her happiest time was when she was on the road. If there is message in this post it would be this. This isn’t the 50’s nor the 60’s. If you are in an unhealthy relationship- leave. There are options. 

 And she don't know where she's going And she's really not sure why But she's got to try and find a way To live before she dies She might see Rock City She might see Ruby Falls She might change her name to Marilyn And drop her southern drawl She wants to climb Lookout Mountain And see all seven states She wants to feel the wind through her hair again Before it gets too late to see Rock City.