Everything Will Be Alright

 Her name was hope her hair was blacker than the sky

She had a smile that made the devil cry

She held is hands, looked him in the eye

She said "believe, believe and everything will be fine."

Everything will be all right

Today's the day, you can bet on that

I heard her close the door, she ain't looking back

A twist of fate or a stroke of luck

Well, the answer's over there beyond the wishing well

Everything will be all right

Take the fire in your hands

And place it at her feet

Walk upon the mountain

Then you'll sail across the sea

Her eyes are taken from the stars above,

Her voice is five hearts breaking

Her voice is five hearts breaking

Her voice is five hearts breaking

The skies are fire and he's waiting to die

And his heart's as empty as a dead man's eyes

She held his hands, looked him in the eye

She said "believe, believe and everything will be fine."

Everything will be all right

Everything will be all right

Everything will be all right 

“Five Hearts Breaking” from the Alejandro Escovedo lp “Gravity”    1992

Berne Brown

A quote taken from the end of the video. 

“To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen ... to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult -- to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive." And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough" ... then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

Transcript and video found here:

Bisti Badlands Part Two

 When you're in the desert, you look into infinity.... It makes you feel terribly small, 

and also in a strange way, quite big.  David Lean

Click on the photo to cycle to the next...

Musing

When you age you start buying more Sympathy cards than Birthday cards.  The past 5 years I have said goodbye more than I have said hello. Most to the natural order of life, old age.  Some were to young.  I am secure in my my faith in knowing that I will be saying hello to my family again. There are certain days, certain holidays that are a little rough.  

I am going to spend Thanksgiving with my sister’s family.

I remain vigilant in staying COVID-19 free.   

Yes, like many I have been seeing a therapist for grief and loss.  For a year and a half and it has been amazing.  I highly recommend it but do your research.  I am just so fortunate that her focus has not been on telling me what to do but to give me tools.

To quote one of my favorite artist/singers, It’s not that I’m so messed up, only a professional can help me...  It’s that I’m worthy of an unbiased, safe, and productive opportunity to process my experience."  Summer Osborne

Random Photos from Old - Old Dog Learning Tricks

 

See Rock City

Four years ago I was taking half of my mom’s ashes to Rock City, Lookout Mountain Georgia. 

I hiked up Lookout Mountain and found the place where you can see all 7 states. She was scattered there. 

 She loved the song, See Rock City. She played it constantly, from the first time she heard it in the 90’s to the day she transitioned, December 2015. It was the song she played when we pulled out of the driveway in 2006 to begin our life on the road. I understood why she related to the song and why it resonated with her. 

 She was trapped for 50 years, the last 20 she couldn’t leave the county. My father was wheelchair, housebound. Between the two of us we cared for him. He wasn’t an easy person to live with. 

 Her happiest time was when she was on the road. If there is message in this post it would be this. This isn’t the 50’s nor the 60’s. If you are in an unhealthy relationship- leave. There are options. 

 And she don't know where she's going And she's really not sure why But she's got to try and find a way To live before she dies She might see Rock City She might see Ruby Falls She might change her name to Marilyn And drop her southern drawl She wants to climb Lookout Mountain And see all seven states She wants to feel the wind through her hair again Before it gets too late to see Rock City.

 

Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness Part 1

There are distinct voices inside rocks, shallow washes, shifting skies; they are not silent. And there is motion, subtle, unseen, like breathing. Joy Harjo 

The Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness is an amazingly scenic and colorful expanse of undulating mounds and unusual eroded rocks covering 45,000 acres, hidden away in the high desert even less publicized. Consequently, the cracks are the result of differential weathering conditions, whereas the speckled appearance due to mineral deposits in the stream that cut through the sedimentary rock. In this beautiful landscape here wind and water erosion over a long time. The area has carved an imaginary world of bizarre rock formations and hoodoos in the form of pinnacles, spires, mushrooms. Other rare forms that have fascinated names such as “Cracked Eggs”, “Bisti Wings” and “Rock Garden”.

 

Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness New Mexico

Step On A Crack

Break Your Mother's Back

 

I took over 500 pictures when I was visiting Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness so there will be several blog post dedicated to this. 

Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness was such a special time for me and it was the beginning of recovery.  It was my first long hike.  In the first part of July I broke my back. This started a chain of events in my life and most of which was beneficial. One of them was I learned to gauge my pain by my blood pressure. I actually bought a monitor.  I learned the fracture was caused by a weak spot in my back due to 20 plus years of osteoporosis that is now osteopenia.  I probably have other weak areas.  The most important event was finding a new doctor that supports me and my decisions that I make with his advice.  

I am one of those people who doesn't react to pain by crying, moaning and groaning. Unless it creeps up on me unexpectedly.  I acknowledge it and try to work around it, over it, through it... I will say this now, it hurt like hell. My housework suffered. I couldn't make the bed, sweep the floor... My giggle was the few times I actually fell and landed on the floor is when I noticed how dirty my floor was. Several times my BP was 200 over something... I got through all of this without chemicals. Two weeks after the break I was hiking. Maybe a one mile hike is not much but I celebrated. Then I continued. The irony is there are some who think I am a hypochondriac because of the way I deal with pain. The X-rays don't lie. I still have bad days but they are getting fewer. 

There were restrictions and because I am scared I continue a lot of these restrictions that maybe I shouldn't. It was a worrisome time.  The end of July I was carefully hiking Colorado. At the end of August I was hiking Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness. Yay!!!!  My doctor told me I had to keep my backpack weight down. Usually it weighs over 15 pounds when I am seriously hiking. So I just carried water and very little food. The temps were 90 to 100 degrees. The total miles was 7, which is good under the circumstances. I was in pain but at least I wasn't falling and I wasn't hiking alone. I was paying attention to my body and what I needed to do. I found shade and I rested. I was not putting myself in jeopardy.

My goal is to return to Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness, hike it again, alone. I want to bring my flute, my rug, and just embrace the spirituality of this wonderful place. I also want to do it in cooler weather. 

I will be working on Bisti/De-Na-Zin Wilderness pictures and posting them later.

Lake Leatherwood Arkansas

“There is another alphabet, whispering from every leaf, singing from every river, shimmering from every sky.” ― Dejan Stojanovic

Click on photo to advance to the next photo

   

Lake Leatherwood Arkansas 

October 8 2020 

Eureka Springs Down By The River

“Oh, Eeyore, you are wet!” said Piglet, feeling him. Eeyore shook himself, and asked somebody to explain to Piglet what happened when you had been inside a river for quite a long time.” ― A. A. Milne

Eureka Springs

October 9 2020

Random Photos Taken By The River

Same Spirit

 "We run with the same spirits each lifetime. These spirits are known as our soul mates." dj hinton

I have seen this quote a few times on Facebook. I respect his words and beliefs. They are similar to my own.

I believe we do run with the same spirits each lifetime and these spirits are our soul family. I have a hard time believing in "soul mates." I use to romanticize it and believed in it until I saw the darker side of it.

Being a participant in past life regression, I can honestly say we will reunite each lifetime with the people that are our soul family. We also will reunite with spirits that we have unresolved issues with that are not a part of our soul family but they are a part of our learning experience.

We are all constantly changing, learning and applying what we learn in every lifetime. This is includes healing our spirits and amending the hurt we inflict, intentional or not, on our soul family members or others.

That is why when someone "dies" I call it transitioning.

We are all blessed with gifts, blessed with insight, blessed because we are unique individuals, blessed because we are loved and appreciated. Everyday we learn something new, whether we know it or not. Occasionally we forget how blessed we are but when a new life enters this lifetime or a life departs, it brings us back to this reality - that we are blessed.

Caprock Canyons State Park

Cows run away from the storm while the buffalo charges toward it - and gets through it quicker. Whenever I’m confronted with a tough challenge, I do not prolong the torment, I become the buffalo.   Wilma Mankiller

Caprock Canyons State Park and Trailway is a Texas state park located along the eastern edge of the Llano Estacado in Briscoe County, Texas, United States, approximately 100 miles southeast of Amarillo. The state park opened in 1982 and is 15,314 acres in size, making it the third-largest state park in Texas.

The Bison that now traverses Caprock Canyons are direct descendants of the animals rancher Charles Goodnight brought to his wife around 1878 in attempts to save the animals that had meant so much to him. It was actually his wife that influenced the cattle and business tycoon to preserve them, before they disappeared, so that future generations might be able to see and appreciate these special creatures. In 1996 the park started their herd with 32 bison, by 2019 that number has grown to around 150.

 

The Worst Part About Traveling....

 The worst part about traveling for a long period of time is discovering, when you are to far from home, your laptop is not working.  Which sucks.  I am back from a two month trip out.  I have rectified all of my electronic issues and downloaded all of my pictures.  So I am going to randomly add photos of my trip in no particular order - starting with Turkey Texas home of Bob Wills and Amarillo Slim, professional gambler.

and yes Bob Wills is still the king.